Yes, of course you are correct that all the religions (and not just in South East Asia) both espouse peace and kindness and yet also diminish the agency and humanity of womanhood, using a wide variety of justifications. E.g Christian theology claims Eve sinned, so all women should be under the direction of their husbands and also suffer pain in childbirth as a punishment...

I am addressing myself to the variant of patriarchy that I grew up with, in my family of origin.

Based on your reasoning, if there are many variants of a disease, a cure for one of them is inadequate -because there exist other variants? But we have to start somewhere, especially if we are the ones suffering.

I absolutely agree that a stable and loving family is the bedrock upon which healthy children and a healthy culture rests... but the biology is destiny argument and demanding a one size fits all form of family, has surely caused untold harm, including domestic violence. Just because parents stay together, it doesn't mean the children are being brought up in an atmosphere of love and respect.

IN fact, in my observation, hatred festers between those couples who feel obliged to stay together for appearances' sake.