When basic acceptance, let alone love, is conditional upon obedience, then it 's best to make the people marginal to our sense of sense.

I think society gives parents way too much value and significance - so what, they got intimate and then natural processes took over. It doesn meant they will be equipped morally, intellectually or emotionally to actually be able to parent their offspring. It's really important to nurture other circles of significant people so that the invalidating, erasing sort of behaviour in our families of origin, does not harm us.

Blessings to you, Aunty Jean! You sound like a wonderful person, vegan, book-loving and taking responsibility for your own healing and growth.