We had such a great rapport, shared values, passion for empowering people who had missed out on education and were not literate in English... so in that context denial of the pen was even more absurd and jarring... obviously envy and jealousy can arise in any relationship, but I am realising, as some of the commentators here have said, the inculcation of Whyte supremacy as a given, on an unconscious level, creates an expectation of superiority.