This reminds me of the work by a sociologies, Mead, , called the Looking Glass ' self, according to which, we form a picture of societal norms and our own place in the world, from our development of 'the Generalised Other', which is an amagamatio of our interactions with significant others. I beleiv eover time, as you mix with people who affirm your perceptions adn values, such as your husband, you can grow in the direction of dismissing the earlier messages. Slef hypnosis helps, please try it.