The problem with writing about a snippet of experience is that you are not sharing patterns...

SO after giving my pens to the child, I did go to the shop to pick up more pens, but due to electricity cut, the tills were not operating so the transaction could not be done. My train was due, so I asked my friend. It's a natural thing to do - in the same circumstance I would have given my pen without a second's thought.

It's a bit ridiculous to suggest I am perceiving white people as repositories of having key to life's needs! I understand you know nothing about me, but what a strange leap to make!

Since the covid imposed isolation I had time to mull over events which made no sense at the time, and I have discerned a pattern: being sabotaged by jealous/envious people.

You are right it could be that 75 out of 100 people have character flaws that make the ugly/damaging in some ways... but the sociologist/psychologist in me discerns the entitlement of say, males under patriarchy and whytes under the whyte supremcist sytem, and notices the discomfort evinced by those who have been trained - mostly unconsciously, to assume superiority.