Thank you Thelma - this is the aspect of writing on Medium that I really love - receiving the responses to what I've shared from people I would otherwise have no space in which to learn from... and be validated by...

I find when I am shocked by someone 's behaviour, whom I have given my trust, my brain seems to freeze and I don't have words but just become awash with feelings... so it is really good to hear your response : that Gillian was being so spiteful.

Why it was confusing is that there was no context for it , that for example, we had some argument or bad feeling over something and then she responds spitefully, would make sense ...