We disconnect from our feelings during our growing up years when our painful feelings weren’t recognized or “held” by an adult or parent able to attune to our emotion, and offer comfort. Maybe they didn’t notice our feelings, or maybe they were uncomfortable with our tears or shame and told us we should be grateful instead of disappointed. Or maybe we were punished or shamed for crying or struggling, and told to pull up our bootstraps and get on with it. Regardless of the cause, we learn that it’s not safe to express those emotions in our tribe (family) and begin to automatically repress them.
