So insightful - thank you... I will try to use this in the difficult situations. Funnily enough, I just resigned from a job where the staff were passive aggressive and the managers were compliant and incompetent, leaving me exposed to whichever person was in a bad mood any particular work day.

As the newcomer to the place, resented becasue my job was secure and there's was not, and the only person of colour in the place I decided , I have bigger fish to fry and better things to do, than stay and be targeted with their arrogant insecurities... and I quit.