The psychological and sociological practice of destroying others — On the heels of ending a long-term relationship to a malignant narcissist, Lauren vehemently and unceasingly blamed herself for ‘allowing’ him to sadistically debase her. Although she intellectually concurred with M. Scott Peck’s premise that genuine love is volitional, that true intimacy is contingent on honoring one another’s humanity and…

This may scare some people, but anger is my absolute favorite emotion. I consider my anger to be a huge factor in transforming my circumstances and furthermore, changing my life. Anger fuels the fire within me to rapidly shift my life around in my favor. I know that most people…

I was robbed. I was robbed. I was robbed. This was the mantra I kept repeating to myself all week. I couldn’t sleep. I was barely eating. I had no energy or motivation to do anything but lay in bed as a crying mess. I needed to understand why that…

She blames critical race theory and wants to sue his middle school — Asingle, mother of a 13-year-old biracial son, plans on suing Henley Middle School in Crozet in Virginia. According to Melissa Riley, the school introduced her son to critical race theory, and now “he’s seeing himself as a Black man.” Her discomfort with her son coming to terms with his racial…

A three-pronged approach to handling rejections and keeping sane in this crazy world. — Why dealing with rejections is vital? Some types of rejections might hurt more than others. For example, rejections from our loved ones might touch our hearts and crush our souls. Their impact causes us to lose the meaning of life. The pain gets so intense that it traumatizes some people. Sadly, those who cannot cope with…

It seems everyone knows America is a failed state except for ignorant and racist Americans. — Before the war between Russian and Ukraine began, Russia and China made a formal announcement on February 4th that they would be formal partners along with Iran in what they deemed a “New Era” alliance which was basically a middle-finger to the West and the establishment of a New World…

Has the ‘discovery’ of medical gaslighting been suddenly Columbused by mainstream media? — While women, in general, cringed as they watched Judge Kentanji Brown Jackson endure days of hearings in which certain white senators (Ted Cruz and Lindsey Graham in particular) assailed her with politically charged questions and puerile outbursts, Black and Brown women connected with Jackson on another level. …

When fitting in conflicts with moral decency — For good and for bad, we are all personally familiar with the need to conform. A natural instinct and a group phenomenon that is reinforced by social uniformity, conformity is a universal reality. …

The Inciting Incident in Your Life Story Awaits You. As a writer, poet, and storyteller, I have had the privilege to create moments, worlds, characters, and reflections of life as stories. This exhilarating capacity to create not only exists with the power of the pen or fingers dancing across a…

For most of my life, I have carried my mother’s unhappiness, sloshing in an aged brown vat atop a rolled towel on my head, the way old ladies do in the countryside in Korea. It was always threatening to topple or overflow, contaminating me, no matter how carefully I maneuvered…

Your family’s Black Sheep is a symptom of the system — *Spoiler alert for Disney’s Encanto Disney’s Encanto is one of those movies that absolutely deserves all the hype. In only a couple of days, my household has watched it at least four times — probably more. The story is well told, but it’s the songs that are perhaps the most…

We are all guilty of doing it! — “When one shuns, one hates; therefore, when one shuns any other, one is not of God.” I had heard this from my pastor when I was eight when a group of kids had asked me not to talk to the new, weird girl in class. …

Pretty Smart on My Part — The other day I was listening to the music of topical songwriter and satirist Phil Ochs. The upbeat vitriol of Pretty Smart On My Part, with lyrics that speak of misguided paranoia and hatred, got me thinking about the defense mechanism of displacement. I can see him coming / He’s…

Some random strangers would rather I put myself in harm’s way than miss out on a “relationship” with toxic kin. Let’s unpack that. — Where I come from, blood runs thicker than water. It doesn’t matter if your family lies, cheats, or steals, you are expected to have their back and engage with them regardless of their behavior. …

Now might be a good time to tell your family to fuck off. — Well, folks, it's that time of year again––the holidays. It's the time of year when you not-so-gleefully indulge in 30 pounds of ham over a belaboring three-week period even though you swore off meat ten months ago. It's your aunt's bourbon-glazed ham, and she's made it every year for as…

Why we need to open our eyes and ears. — Time to go home from a night out. What do you do? If you’re a guy, chances are you just call a cab, or walk home with leisurely strides, maybe stopping for a cigarette or to have a sneaky pee in a quiet alleyway. If you’re a woman, however, there…

Stop telling me that my parents loved me the best they knew how. You’re wrong. — Two weeks ago, I sent my mother an essay I wrote about feeling rejected by her and contemplating suicide. Her response? “I’m done talking about the past with you.” Who does that? Apparently, my mother. I don’t know why this would surprise me. My mother once tried to have me…

Do it for yourself A decade before I wrote my memoir, I was watching The Judds episode on OWN where Ashley Judd told Wynonna that she wrote a memoir. Wynonna yelled at her in anger, “Why’d you have to do that?” Ashley's answer was, “Because you wouldn’t listen to me…