For me, it was hard to get out of all of it. To this day, I still sometimes think I’m a monster and doubt my perceptions. My self-value and self-worth was constantly under attack so that the white people within my environment could maintain their superiority over me and people like me.
Just this paragraph alone demonstrates to me, you have high IQ and ALSO, high emotional intelligence - the capacity to read social situations and people's intentions from the array of clues they give, both verbal and non-verbal.
You are exactly right - they try to undermine our confidence in order to get away with their wrong-doing. Stay rooted in your perceptions, girl!