I've always found time alone to be like a precious gift, or like being on a carefree, joyful holiday.
Before the lockdown that began in March 2020, I had all these 'oughts' which involved feeling responsible for helping and supporting everyone who sought my help. For most of the past year, I'm rejoicing in being alone, having shed several white fake friends, along with demanding relatives who consistently expressed little care for me, across many many years.
It’s been very hard to come to terms with, partly because I really believed in the ‘unconditional love’ praised in Buddhism and Christianity. But for women, of colour, ‘unconditional love’ provides an open door to your skills being taken endlessly, without acknowledgement, and unless you put up some bounderies, your life energies will be sucked up till you have nothing left to give. And then, guess what? You’re abandoned.