I'm grateful for your clarity Leonara. The odd thing is that though I was the only person in the family supportive of Katie, and she'd call me when upset with my brother 's behaviour towards her... basically she got print as a way to keep him in her life, they were not married and he felt unable to face up to this and tell our Muslim parents for some ten years... during which they had another baby. ,

Then, once she got the assurance of marriage and more children with him, she totally turned her back on me.

All I did that annoyed her was to say I was exhausted form working full-time, doing my Masters degree, siting my mother then going over to Katy's house ten miles away to take her child out... and I asked her to come and visit me sometimes. She actually put the phone down on me, and I then did not reach out to her... And she was fine with that. It was like, she got the prize she wanted and that was that.

Yet I'd been the one assuring her that whatever my brother did, I regarded the children she had as my niece and nephew, just as much as the children of my married siblings.